Why are people’s hearts so hardened towards God? What did God do to make some people ignore him and others hate Him? Why is God’s name used more as a curse word than as a term of endearment? Why do people seek fulfillment in every way imaginable except seeking after the Lord? Why? My heart is burdened by many who have sadly chosen to go their own way. When these questions get distilled the main reason one chooses not to believe there is a God is because they do not want to hand over the keys to their life. People do not want to be held accountable by anyone but themselves. I can’t sleep tonight as my mind keeps running again and again over these thoughts. Sadly, the greatest answer to many of these questions is modern day Christians. The greatest testimony against Christianity is not its beliefs but the lives of those who claim the title. I am burdened because I realize I am a sinner and a selfish person, yet realize that a world is watching. I am torn as I want to be a light to a watching world that Jesus is alive, yet still seek and desire what the world desires. My only hope is that God can use a forgiven sinner. One blessing of seminary is you have a lot of knowledge to answer a lot of questions, but theology alone doesn’t do very much good at convincing others (especially in a post-modern society where logic doesn’t matter nearly as much). I live in a culture and see so many that desperately long for “true love” yet will not under any circumstance turn to a God who is love. Looking from this side of God’s grace it is clear that many are blinded to the Good News. I must pray, live and share the foolishness of the Good News so that those whose hearts are blind might see.

2 thoughts on “Why?”

  1. Good thoughts, Ben… great comments! I couldn’t sleep tonight and I thought of how Jen said you two couldn’t sleep one night a while ago and you were blogging… so I thought I’d check it out and I’m glad I did! Thanks!

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